Red Shadows
by Kelly the Vampire Witch
Summary: Willow's POV about her life and loves.
1. Chapter One

A/N Okay the amazing lyrics are 'Shadows' by Four Star Mary (Dingoes ate my Baby) Since it's Willow's favorite band in the whole world I figure they would be perfect for her little POV Fic, plus the whole "Bored Now" thing. This is Willow during the end of season six. There will be references back to past seasons and her relationships with Tara, Oz, and even a little Xander.  
  
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She's in ecstasy Her hollowed sky Pours down heavenly And fakes desire I've been living here in the red I've been feeling I'm dead again. We've been bored before.  
  
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"Tara, Oh my god Tara. That feels so good." I cry. The truth is every thing feels so good having Tara back. See Tara and I broke up a few months ago and just feeling her next to and inside of me again is amazing. Tara is looking at me in that sweet way that only Tara can. My world is complete I think as I fall asleep in her arms.  
  
Tara gets up to go to the dresser by the window and I frown looking up from my laptop. Why do I have to be doing research? All I really want to do is convince Tara not to get dressed and to come back to bed and spend the whole day laying together making up for lost time.  
  
A shot rings out and all I see is red. Red everywhere, at first I think it is mine, but it is Tara, and she collapses. She is dying I realize and I turn to any powers that can hear me to save her. I start to have that feeling when you know something is about to happen that is going to destroy your life. My anger starts flowing like Tara's blood over my clothes and I feel the urge to make the ones responsible for Tara feel my pain. I wonder if this is how my vamp self felt, the urge for the pain and torture and finally the kill. I swear I will kill just like Oz killed Veruca for me. People think Mother's are protective of their children, but they have never experienced the wrath of a protective lover. 


	2. Chapter Two

I have never felt so alone Since the time we left ourselves Half past gone We've been living here up against the red I've been feeling I'm dead again  
  
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As strange as it sounds, while I'm hunting for Warren to kill him, I'm thinking about everything but Warren and Tara. I'm thinking about hurting Anya at the Magic Box when I absorbed all that magic. No, I don't feel that way about Anya, I maybe Gay now, but not desperate, besides I just lost Tara. No, I was just remembering how we used to fight and she accused me of wanting Xander. Maybe at one time I wanted Xander, but that was before everything changed. My first memories are me and Xander playing together, but he never saw me as anything but a best friend. Our only indiscretion was that bad time during senior year; I'm still not sure how that happened. Then Oz left and I reached out to my witchcraft and that was right where I met Tara, as shy and as quiet as I had been before Buffy. She was me in so many ways. Now, I've lost her and that old me completely. I'm never going to be that shy little computer nerd, that girl who thought she was cool because she had a boyfriend in the band, or that lesbian Wicca who had powerful magic. I'm not sure what I am, but it's nothing I've ever been before. 


	3. Chapter Three

We've been bored before We'll be bored again We've been bored before and again Shadows to the Wall  
  
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Warren is in front of me. He knows that I've come to kill him. He's so scared. I can sense the fear. Good, Tara at least never knew what was coming. It was less painful that way, but Warren he knows what's coming. He knows that I will torture him until I have released all my anger, and then he'll die as painfully as Tara, but knowing what's coming. I channel my vamp persona as I say her famous line when she threw Percy over the pool table in the Bronze, only this time, I'll do more than that to Warren. I'm done playing it's time for his death and so I say "Bored Now," and walk away knowing his body is now inside out, like my emotions. I should feel better, but I don't, I feel as lost and lonely as before, and I can't help but think that maybe I'll always be this way. I'll always be scared and alone, crushed by love. That I really am as evil as my vamp self, except I don't wear red leather or have fangs. Yes, I finally understand her and I hope somewhere she's with her Vamp Xander living a life without heartache and disappointment. I pray that she is happy and that she's praying I'm as happy as her, because maybe someday I will be. 


End file.
